Friday, August 21, 2009

My Confession

The last few weeks have been very hard on me. My IM race/training is over and I've been focusing on the "important" things in life. Work, Employees, Family, Friends & the Debate of HealthCare/Insurance reform.
With a light exercise schedule and more free time, you'd think that I would be full of energy. Sadly, that's not been the case. I have been completely exhausted in the evening and I awake with greater difficulty. My ability to focus on the "important things" has been more complicated than ever. But why? I've got more time. I'm not focused on training. I'm eating well, enjoying my teammates and I've got (despite my lack of energy & focus) GREAT things happening in my career and business.

I mentioned to Francesca that I felt out of balance. Like I'm focusing so much on "important things" that it's not enjoyable. I'm feeling stressed and pressured to prepare another Blog or upgrade our Website. I've got a bunch of "I wills" and "90 Day Wonders" that I'm getting done but aren't flowing easily. Last weekend, I took some much needed "Mellow Yellow" time at my family's beach house. It was great to connect with my family and not have an alarm clock to deal with. I went equipped with some reading material and a plan to regain my balance. However, each time I picked up a book my mind was racing and I couldn't stay in the moment. This was really getting frustrating! What would I say/advise a client/friend who was experiencing this? When will this end? IM was easier!

Monday evening I battled 1hr traffic to drive 5 miles to go see my Friend/Mentor "Todd" speak on the "Power of You." Todd is blend of energy and calm. He can be the right mix at the right time which is partly why he is so successful. After dinner and some great conversation with him and another of my "brotherhood" Rick Ivonne (an amazingly INSPIRED guy who I'm fortunate to have connected) I felt my energy returning. The next morning I awoke and said "alright here we go, let's create something today." My energy just disappeared. What the hell happened? I'm putting my foot on the gas and going nowhere!! I was thinking of Mantras & Affirmations. Thinking Goals & To Be Done lists. Still, no energy or focus!
Perhaps, I was pushing when I needed to pull?

Anytime my energy & focus was present I was just being me. When speaking to Todd on Monday, nothing was forced or a struggle. When I read the Mastermind Threads and respond it comes with ease. Training for IM was easy because it wasn't according to a plan. Perhaps I'm just the kind of person that doesn't respond well to "Plans" maybe I'm just a "Doer" and that's where my energy comes from? I'm not suggesting that Planning is a bad thing; perhaps I'm just focusing my energy too much on the plan and less on the Intention and Action. I've struggled administratively with doing This or That 1st? and of course NEITHER gets done.
So today I declare to not PLAN and simply DO. I'm feeling better already.

Frank Pucher

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